Conversations to have BEFORE baby is born!
You have probably discussed everything from breastfeeding pumps to car seats to how to announce baby’s arrival, but there are other conversations that are probably best to have before baby arrives. These can be difficult conversations to have when you are tired or stressed, so having them when you both are calm will allow you make decisions with calm logical heads.
Visitors in the first few days – who is allowed visit and for how long? How to manage this? What will be the role of grandparents? Some parents love to be surrounded by family eager to meet the new arrival, others prefer to have a little time to themselves to make the adjustment before inviting visitors in. Which are you? Are you happy for family and friends to just drop in? Or would you prefer a scheduled visit? Be on the same page as your partner for this and decide who manages the calls and visits. You’ll thank yourself later.
How do you deal with tiredness and sleep deprivation? How can your partner support you? Believe us, no one can prepare you for how tired you can feel during the early weeks. You are recovering yourself while having responsibility for a little human 24 hours of the day, every day. It can get overwhelming. Put a plan in place so that you don’t reach this point. And review it frequently!
How will the workload be divided? This should cover everything from baby to housework to free time. You are a team and setting the ground rules early is best for everyone. You both will be tired but working as a team will see you through. You can see why having this conversation before baby is born is a good idea can’t you?
Night-time feedings and waking – who does what? There are many ways to work the night time feeds. If mum is breastfeeding, she will be up for every feed and may appreciate some support. This is where dad comes in. Does mum feed and dad settle baby? Having the conversation is the starting point as you both know what each others expectations are. Sleep really does become a hot topic when a baby is born. Counting up how many hours you got compared to your partner is a pastime many new parents indulge in I assure you!
Self-care – what will you need and how to recognise when you need time for yourself? While it is wonderful to be in that bubble with your new baby, it’s also important to have some alone time. It may be just going for a short walk, or going to the local shop, or having a nap, but it will give you the mental break and connection you need.
You should go back and review these conversations regularly after baby is born as you see what is required. It’s hard to imagine exactly how tired you will be or how busy you will be before baby is born. You might find that you want to do more as you are feeling great, or that you need much more support than you expected as you had a caesarean section. Whatever the situation, you can both adjust the plan as needed. As with your Birth Plan, the key with your Postnatal Plan is flexibility, as babies are unpredictable.
Our Baby Journals are a wonderful way to plan and organise yourself for baby’s arrival and for their first year. Keep track of all the important questions you have, the doctors appointments, baby’s progress and so much more. Perfect for keeping everything organised.